Archive for the ‘poetry’ Category

A Superficial Happiness

Posted: May 9, 2013 in poetry
Tags: ,

Wrote this poem today. This is how I feel right now. It’s not the best poem I’ve ever written, it’s not even that good really but I just wanted to get some feeling out & in writing

A superficial happiness
May distract me for a while
I can sometimes feel content
& even paint a smile

I can push away the hurt
But not for very long
It rushes back so powerfully
Singing its enticing song

Negativity is me
Badness runs through my core
As months & years go by
The bad gets more & more

A deep emotional pain
Is the essence of my being
It clings to every inch of my soul
& from it there is no fleeing

A self hate so deep
That it skews all my perception
It hurts my heart
To look at my own reflection

A self defeating mentality
My mind seeks to destroy
To break me, to kill me
Is It’s ultimate ploy

Flirting with madnesses
But this is my reality
I know this will never cease
Until it causes my fatality


The Scarred One

Posted: February 26, 2013 in BPD, poetry, self harm

A poem I’ve written about self harm

The ScarredOne

I hurt myself today
Sometimes it’s the only way
It’s not because I want to die
To say I do would be a lie
To punish myself I feel the need
So i cut me open & let me bleed
I drag the blade across my skin
An attempt to release the demons within
An open wound fills up with red
A release of all that remains unsaid
Crimson red, a gentle flow
The red it shines, a powerful glow
Enticing, I fixate & my eyes they glare
At the cause of relief from my inner despair
The cut provides relief like no other
But not for long so I do another
And now an addict to this self harm
Hundreds of scars upon my arm
But once the blood has dried & gone
Forever I’ll remain the scarred one